How To Deal With a Broken Heart

The subject ‘how to deal with a broken heart‘ is near and dear to me.  I’ve been through the pain of so many relationship disasters, break ups, and ‘grief events’… I know how devastating those times are and I know how much it means to find relief.

Eating chocolate, going shopping, excessively hanging out with friends, or working long overtime hours are ways we might think help us deal with heart ache, but let’s be honest.  These are band aids – they don’t do squat for the gaping wound, the one that is gushing out pain day after day, night after night.

I’d like to suggest 3 things you can do right now to find some relief, whether your broken heart is the result of a break-up, a break-down, or even a grief event such as death.  These are 3 essentials for getting relief and moving forward in your life.

#1
As much as you may not want to hear this, you really have to face your pain.  Denial and avoidance are natural reactions which might help you survive initially, but they are extremely counter-productive over the long haul.

If you would allow me to very gently toss a virtual glass of cold water in your face to awaken you to the reality of your pain, I will gladly do it.  Why?  Because loving friends have done that for me, and I’m so grateful to them for helping me face my pain.

It’s like a band aid on the hairs of your arm… do you pull it off hair by painful hair, or do you just rip it off?  Facing your pain head on may seem like ripping the band aid off; and yes, it will hurt.

Face it.  Feel it.  Let your pain have its day.  You will move on.

#2
Talk to someone about what you’re feeling.  Maybe you’ve already done this, but most likely you need to do it again, and again, and again.  Talking it out with someone you trust can be such a huge part of healing and moving on.  Not to do this means bottling up things which shouldn’t be bottled up.

Think of your pain like a pressure cooker.  I don’t know if you grew up with one of those, but I did.  My mother was the pressure cooker queen.  And the trick was to not overcook.  If the pressure was left too long, the food was utterly destroyed.

It’s the same with your pain pressure.  Leave it too long, without any release valve, and it can be deeply destructive.  Begin to depressurize now.  Find a friend you can trust, someone who knows how to just listen, and start the process.  Now.

#3
Write it down.  Express yourself on paper.  Some people call this journaling.  I call it survival.

To put into words, on a page, the horrible and worst feelings you are experiencing – to actually name them, to get them out of your head and into print – is simply liberating.

No one else needs to read what you write, or, you can share it with a truly trusted friend if you need validation for what you are feeling and writing.  Just remember that liberation comes from the act of getting it out of your head and onto paper.  It’s a way of owning the feelings, then letting them go.

“I’m not a good writer,” you say.  I understand… it may be something you’ve never done, to express your pain on paper.  But trust me, it will flow if you just let it.  Perfection isn’t the goal, expression is.  You can do it, and you’ll be amazed at how easy and liberating it is once you get started.  Would you be willing?

I dare you to try all 3 of these techniques.  I’m pretty confident that you’ll be thrilled you did.

If you’ve found my article How To Deal With a Broken Heart helpful and you’re dealing specifically with a relationship break-up, go here for a breath of fresh air.  This guy genuinely knows what he’s talking about and genuinely wants to help.